And in between the memes and the blatant fatphobia there are a million home workouts encouraging us not to use the world crisis as an excuse to “get lazy” (i.e. put on weight) and a million other influencers offering up “immunity boosting” recipes that promise to not only protect you from catching the virus but keep your abs on point too. Diet culture disguised as wellness is nothing new, but you’d think it would give us a break while the world is on its knees.

DIET CULTURE DURING COVID-19

So if you’re struggling to feel good about your body in this current climate it’s not your fault – in fact, it’s probably kind of inevitable. And if you’re then feeling bad about feeling bad about your body when there are so many other things to feel bad about right now… well, that’s not your fault either.

It doesn’t mean you’re vain or shallow or you haven’t got better things to worry about. It just means you’re not immune to all the messages profiting from your insecurities, and you’re not immune to the physical effects of anxiety which so often show up as an “I feel fat” moment.

So much is out of our control right now, so it’s natural that you may be trying to gain some of that control back by “taking charge” of your body. Diets, intensive work-outs, regimented food schedules… these are all ways anxiety can manifest into poor body image, with diet culture conveniently appearing at just the time you’re looking for some coping strategies.

FAT IS NOT A FEELING

When you’re spiralling into this moment it might help to remember that fat is not a feeling. Identifying the emotion you’re *actually* experiencing is a great way to ground yourself in your body and gain some perspective. The Feelings Wheel designed by Dr Gloria Wilcox can help you do this…

Surviving bad body during a pandemic might seem like the least of your problems, but as we already know body image can have a huge impact on many other areas of our life – from our mental health to our physical health, to the way we engage and interact with the people around us. And this last bit – the people around us – is the bit I’m most concerned with right now.

CANCELLING DIET CULTURE AROUND KIDS

Because for the past nine months I’ve been campaigning for a change in rules around the way diet clubs and weight loss services are advertised around children, arguing that what our kids see on their way into school every day has a huge impact on how they feel about their own bodies. (Read this piece I wrote for The Unedit for more on that.)

But now so many children aren’t actually going to school the stakes at home are arguably so much higher. I don’t mean to ramp up the pressure (we’ve got enough of that already what with keeping our kids safe and well along with the home schooling and inevitable arguments over screen time and maths homework) BUT it is something to consider. Next time you have an “I feel fat” moment ask yourself what it is you’re *actually* feeling, why you’re feeling this way, and what the impact of diet culture on your kids might be if you allow it to infiltrate your home.

If you’re keen to avoid some of these diet culture traps and promote a body happy environment at home I’ve uploaded some new resources to the #FreeFromDiets website. The printable Body Happy Kids planner is packed with inspiration for confidence-boosting things you can do with your children at home during this period – and you might even get something from it too. I’ve also started a new weekly Body Happy Kids email zine you can subscribe to for more ideas and resources which might help over the next few weeks.

WHAT WE SEE AND LISTEN TO MATTERS

Now, more than ever before, use your click currency and your internet power to raise UP the accounts that make you feel good and switch OFF the accounts that make you feel bad. Mute the stuff that triggers bad body feelings and diversify your feed.

We’re not out on the street seeing a range of gorgeous different bodies every day so make sure you’re seeing some of that every day reality in your social media feed too. And not just perfectly lit, glamorously photographed bodies either – but a whole range of different people doing a whole range of different things. And not just people – but cats and dogs and all of the other cute stuff the internet has to offer! This will have a direct impact on the way you feel about your body.

While you’re there, seek out some positive, inspiring, brilliant podcasts to follow too (*cough* I hear Body Cons is very good).

THE THREE THINGS ACTIVITY

You’ve downloaded the resources, felt the feelings, listened to the podcast, cleared out your social media accounts… but still feel bad. What next? This activity might help (it’s also something you can do with your kids if you’re looking for some creative homeschooling activities!)…

1. Write down the names of three people you love.
2. Write down three things you love about those three people.
3. Read your list and note how many of those things are appearance-related….

Then, if you’re feeling up to it, write down three things those very same people might put next to your name. If you love and value the people around you for who they are, this might help to hammer home that the things they love and value about you are the things that make you, you – not the shape of your body.

HAVE A KITCHEN DISCO

Genuinely not even joking. There is a huge amount of evidence into the benefits of joyful movement, including bringing a feeling of gratitude and connection to your body, easing anxiety, tension and getting out of your head. And what’s more joyous than a kitchen disco (handy because real discos are out of the question at the moment)? I’ll be doing a kitchen disco live over on Instagram on Friday at 3pm GMT, but even if you can’t join me then just putting some music on, having a boogie around the kitchen and loosening up is a great way to come back to your body in a positive way.

I’ll be sharing lots of resources, ideas and inspiration over the next few weeks for ways to feel good in your mind and body during this unsettled period, and ways you can help your kids feel good too. In the meantime, check out the resources page of the #FreeFromDiets website, listen to Body Cons, and follow me on Instagram for almost-daily nuggets of body love.

FURTHER RESOURCES:

Be Real campaign

Dove Self Esteem project

Beat Eating Disorder charity

Center for Change

The post How to survive bad body image during lockdown appeared first on Mother's Always Right.

Last year I launched the #FreeFromDiets campaign, a campaign to end diet promo around schools and kids’ clubs. If you’re interested in finding out more, we have a whole website packed with information, resources and details about our various projects. It started off as one lone, miffed mum and evolved into a whole movement. But this means nothing if we don’t see change, which is where the next phase of the campaign comes in.

And that’s why we’re launching a crowdfunder campaign to raise money to fund a series of workshops and free resources for teachers and youth workers, to help navigate the tricky subject of body image with the children in their care.

The idea is, if we can create change from the inside and eradicate any diet culture within schools then hopefully fewer ads for diet clubs and weight loss services will appear on school railings and in children’s book bags in the first place.

These workshops and free resources would be delivered at the same time as we work on the ASA and the powers at the top to change the rules around this stuff so that, hopefully one day, huge adverts for diet brands plastered on school railings and on the walls of kids’ clubs will be thing of the past.

You can donate as little as £1 and it really does make all the difference. To donate just go here. To change the amount you need to click on the donate option and then you can put in a figure when you enter your bank details.

We’ve got a printable reward for anyone who donates £5 or more – a Body Happy Kids: My Week of Body Love printable calendar packed with evidence based activities, mantras and mindfulness exercises to boost your kids’ body image. Just send us a screenshot of your donation and (either via DM on social media – I am @mollyjforbes on Twitter and Instagram) or via email via the campaign contact us page, and we will send you your prize!

We’ve already recruited a teacher to design and deliver the workshops and we have supporters with medical and therapeutic expertise to sign off on it. So now we just need the money to do it all.

Can you help? Donate as little as £1 today. THANK YOU. It really will make a difference.

DONATE HERE

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On a rainy, cold, dark and dreary day two weeks ago in London a team of people met to discuss how to end the marketing of diets and weight loss products around kids. It wasn’t a high profile meeting endorsed by celebrities or featuring #gifted goodie bags and a who’s who of Instagram influencers, but then no one said creating change was glamorous.

When I launched the #FreeFromDiets campaign back in the summer I had no idea how it would go down. It started with a few angry rants on Instagram Stories about diet club reps handing out leaflets at various school gates up and down the country, and then it snowballed into a fully fledged campaign with a petition and a video and a website and a team of ambassadors and a campaign manager.

Every week I get DM after DM after DM from parents all over the UK telling me stories of weight loss brands using schools and kids’ clubs as a recruitment ground for new members.

Aggressive marketing techniques include handing out leaflets in school book bags to take home to parents, hanging huge banners on school gates, putting up posters in kids’ club changing rooms. I even heard from one mum who was shocked to find a rep for a big diet brand dressed up as the Easter Bunny in her local park, handing out balloons and leaflets enticing parents to join her local club.

It seems it’s gone unchallenged for so long that it’s become normalised, a part of every day life for so many.

So while the rates of pre-teens getting treated for anorexia doubles in a decade, the number of mental health issues associated with poor body image rises and many children literally skip school altogether because of low self-esteem linked to how they feel in their body… the big diet brands quietly rumble on, using the very places children should be safest from messaging around weight loss and perfect body ideals as prime marketing locations for new members.

Mums are big business – and never mind if the kids see the ads, many brands offer free membership for kids too! Get the whole family through the door in one go and triple your wins! Everyone’s happy (apart from the kids who go on to develop eating disorders and the mums who hate themselves after regaining the weight, and the children who don’t raise their hand in class for fear of their body being wrong… but we won’t worry about them. You can’t please everyone).

Headlines about obesity epidemics and simplified narratives around health keep the diet brands safe from scrutiny, it seems. They can use the health argument to justify hanging banners on school gates which sell the thin = happy / thin = successful / thin = healthy message. They just want to help people! They just want as many people as possible to know that for a minimal fee they too can lose weight and get their life back on track. Their work is practically charitable, really. (We’ll skim over the fact many of these diet ads show pictures of chips and “junk foods” – photos of the very foods the ASA recently banned from being advertised within 100 metres of a school due to said obesity epidemic.)

And apparently the reality of the problem is too meta to cover in the news, as journalists regularly get in touch saying they’re interested in the campaign and want to cover it, but only if I can get proof of a rep actually handing a leaflet to a child and saying something along the lines of “You’re fat, read this, then come to my club”, before locking them up in a (low calorie) ice cream van Child Catcher style and stealing them away into the diet branded sunset. Of course this isn’t happening, the reality is far more nuanced and less tabloid- shocking, but no less dangerous.

The rates of pre-teens with eating disorders has doubled in the last decade. One in five girls aren’t raising their hand in class for fear of being judged over how they look. Children are under-performing at school and some aren’t attending altogether due to the way they feel about their body. But yes, let’s just blame it all on Instagram and photo editing apps and “the media”, because that’s easier than addressing the fact thousands of our children are walking past huge banners for diet brands on their school railings every single day.

And so I guess it’s no surprise that none of the diet brands agreed to join us for our first round table event, to find a way to work together to market their products in a more responsible way, away from children. Change doesn’t happen overnight and all that.

But what was pretty cool was the fact that Girl Guiding UK joined us for the discussion, offering amazing insight into the point of view of young people, and telling us about the brilliant work they’re doing to counteract negative body image and narrow beauty ideals and promote self esteem amongst young girls. And what was also pretty cool was the fact we had two health professionals – an eating disorder therapist and a GP – at the meeting too, along with an activist who only went and met with London Mayor Sadiq Khan two days afterwards and told him all about the campaign. Pretty cool indeed.

If you’re interested in finding out about what was discussed on the day and some of the key areas we’re working on to counteract diet club messaging around kids (while we simultaneously work to get it eradicated around schools completely) then you can read the full round table report here.

You can also have your say on the specific areas you’d like us to focus on here.

Next month we’ll be announcing big plans for 2020, including some really fun and inspiring events that you can get involved in and fundraising activity to fund brilliant new initiatives to counteract the diet messaging (body image workshops for teachers are top of our list!).

I know it’s a scary time. And the news is often depressing and uncertain. But I feel hopeful for 2020 because I see how many amazing people are working to put good stuff into the world, actively create change, give up their time and their platforms for free to make a difference. And this gives me hope.

We’re only just getting started.

The post Body image workshops for teachers and other anti-diet wish-list must-haves appeared first on Mother's Always Right.

Well no, as it happens, we’re not. Because, after sharing the tweet and talking about it on Instagram, I had lots of messages back from parents in the UK, saying their kids’ school photos had been airbrushed too. And I’m not just talking about removing stains from tops or tidying up a wonky tie. I’m talking about the full works: changing nose sizes, smoothing skin, removing eczema patches, changing ginger hair to brown, darkening skin tone, whitening teeth… the lot.

Don’t believe me? Here are some of the messages I’ve had in the last few hours:

I could go on, but you get the idea.

And you might be reading this and thinking, what’s the big deal? So a few school photos got retouched, whatever. But we’re naive to think something “little” like retouching a kids’ photo – or, while we’re on the subject, hanging a banner for a diet company on their school railings – has no impact on the way our children feel in their bodies and in their skin.

Just last week a study was released showing the rate of pre-teen children with anorexia has doubled. The week before, Plan International released findings that one in four girls have avoided leaving the house due to worries about their appearance. We already know that body insecurities are affecting children as young as three years old, that one in five girls aren’t raising their hand in class for fear of being judged over their appearance and that 52% of 11 – 16 year olds regularly worry about the way they look.

There are many more studies showing similarly scary findings – head here to see some of them – but the headline is: we’re facing a body image crisis and it’s affecting not only our physical and mental health, our quality of life, our relationships and performance at work, but that of our kids too. Children aren’t just missing PE because of body image issues – they’re skipping school altogether.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got no beef with you if you want to go on a diet or photoshop your face. Your body, your choice. BUT I do have beef with kids as young as 4 years old being exposed to diet culture, body ideals and potentially harmful ideas around restricting food.

We’re living in a society deeply affected by weight stigma and toxic beauty ideals – and we’re naive to think airbrushing school photos and handing out leaflets for a diet club at the school gates doesn’t directly feed into harmful narratives promoting one body type over another.

It’s not just about making kids’ feel good enough as they are though. It’s about promoting the idea that people deserve to be treated with respect and kindness REGARDLESS of what their body looks like, or what it can do.

Airbrushing photos and promoting dieting around schools all feeds into the idea that one type of body is better, healthier and, therefore, more valuable than another. And that if your body doesn’t look like this, you are somehow less of a person. That doesn’t just affect children in higher weight bodies (although they are the ones having to put up with bullying, discrimination and abuse on a daily basis), it affects ALL children in ALL bodies.

And until we recognise this, fight for it and continue to challenge the “little” things we don’t really think are a problem, it’s just going to get worse.

(If you’re interested in this then you can find out more about the #FreeFromDiets campaign here and buy tickets to our first event here.)

The post Kids school photos are being airbrushed, and it is not OK appeared first on Mother's Always Right.

It started earlier this year, when a leaflet for a local diet club landed on my doormat. I uploaded a bit of a ranty Instagram Story, talking about why it wasn’t OK to put leaflets for diet clubs through people’s doors. And my DMs lit up.

I heard from people in recovery for eating disorders, who’d relapsed after receiving such leaflets, from parents who’d been given leaflets at their kids’ school gates and from grown adults who were still suffering the disordered eating effects of being taken along to diet clubs as teenagers.

Diet promo around schools and kids’ clubs is real…

The more I heard from parents talking about the ways their kids had been exposed to harmful messaging around body image in the very places they should be most safe, the more I realised it was an issue. Image after image flooded my inbox, showing banners hanging on school gates, posters in school reception areas, leaflets at mother and toddler groups, posters in changing rooms for kids’ dance and gym clubs. This stuff was everywhere, hiding under our noses in plain sight.

And as I talked about it I realised I couldn’t just keep quiet and hope it would go away. It wasn’t a case of writing to one diet company or slimming service because they’re all at it. If one stops then another will step in. With the mum diet market being such a profitable one it stands to reason they’ll target the very places these mums hang out. And while the current rules state radio and TV ads for weight loss products and slimming services can’t be targetted at under 18s, when it comes to marketing around children on the ground, it’s a grey area.

Where #FreeFromDiets began…

But with the UK facing a body image crisis, with one in eight adults experiencing suicidal thoughts over the way they feel in their body, one in five girls not raising their hand in class for fear of being judged over their appearance, 34% of five year old girls restricting their food and kids as young as four being treated for eating disorders…. surely we need to really look at the impact these messages hanging on our kids’ school railings are having? These ads are telling kids that to “live happy”, “be well” and “be inspired” you need to look one way, change your body, lose weight – fit a narrow body ideal and image of health and beauty.

It is not OK.

So that’s where the #FreeFromDiets campaign was born. And this is where it grows.

#FreeFromDiets part 2…

Last week I announced that #FreeFromDiets is going on the road. I’ve recruited a campaign manager and a team of ambassadors, built a brand new website and created a whole campaign strategy around a series of inspiring, informative, empowering and FUN panel events.

Each panel event will be followed up by a round table discussion with people in positions of power to make a change. This is a community-led campaign. We’re creating a movement right here.

You can find out more about the movement and how you can get involved here.

We have doctors, health professionals, therapists, influencers, activists, educators and writers supporting the campaign. And it all hinges around a series of panel events we want YOU to come along to, to show policy makers there’s appetite for change and to help inform the round table discussions we have with those people the following day.

An amazing line-up of speakers…

Our first panel event, Body Happy Parents, takes place on November 21st, at 6.30pm, in a school in central London. Tickets cost just £15 and money from all ticket sales goes straight back into the campaign.

We’re going to get into it on the subject of body image, diet culture and how as parents we can reach body acceptance and help role-model positive body image in front of our kids. We’ll be talking about why diet promo around schools and children’s clubs is not the one. And we’ll be hosting a Q&A so you can get involved too.

The brilliant social media star, content creator and writer Tova Leigh is joining the campaign as our newest ambassador, as well as a speaker on our Body Happy Parents panel. Tova will be alongside Dr Tosin Sotubo, a GP and diversity advocate, social media influencer and mum Kerri Northcott, and ED specialist, Harley Street therapist, body image coach and international speaker Laura Phelan. The panel will be hosted by me (Molly Forbes). 

Find out more about the event here and get your ticket here.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous. It’s a huge investment of time, energy and yet again I’m putting myself on the line. But if 2019’s taught me one thing it’s that you can’t let the fear of failure hold you back. The only thing worse than failure is not trying at all.

Are you in? Join us here.

The post #FreeFromDiets Phase 2: it’s all happening! appeared first on Mother's Always Right.

The Mark Warner Perdepera resort in Sardinia sits nestled between a white sandy beach and lush green mountains, and when we woke up on our first morning in the resort we thought we’d been transported into an actual postcard. (SPOILER – we would return in a heartbeat.)

We went in the last week of the summer holidays, after a summer that included a back injury, a fairly soggy UK camping trip and countless cancelled family days out (due to said back injury). So when we got on the plane it’s fair to say we were all more than ready for a week of sunshine.

Getting there

We flew from Heathrow T5 to Cagliari airport in Sardinia. From there, it took just over an hour and a half to get to Perdepera by coach. The plane journey itself was excitement for the kids (who are used to travelling to France by ferry most summers), and this was made even more exciting by being invited into the cockpit. Freya got to sit in the pilot’s seat and wear his hat, and I may have cried.

The resort

Perdepera is set on the south-eastern edge of Sardinia, Italy’s second largest island (after Corsica). It’s a fairly small resort, set in a rural location, so it has a really laid-back vibe. This is helped by the fact the accommodation is arranged in small “cottages” rather than a big imposing building. As such, it feels more like a village than a large hotel, which somehow made it feel more family-friendly.

The resort’s flower game is strong, with an Instagram-ready angle pretty much everywhere you look. And if you look closely enough you’ll see a multitude of wildlife including the cutest little geckos which the girls were obsessed with.

Mark Warner share the resort with an Italian tour operator, so there’s a mixture of Italian and English holidaymakers there, but it never felt too busy – probably because there are three pools to choose from, as well as the beach.

Watch our Day in the Life video filmed at Perdepera…

Kids’ clubs

One of the biggest draws of a Mark Warner holiday is the high quality childcare, which is something I’d been told about from countless friends who’ve holidayed at some of the company’s other resorts. As newbies to this type of holiday (we’re used to staying in self-catering houses or camping in France), we weren’t prepared for quite how huge the kids’ club aspect of the holiday would be. But it didn’t take us long to find out.

On the first day Freya told us she didn’t want to do “boring kids’ club” because it would be “just like school”. Within twenty minutes of dropping her off I could see her running around having fun with a new group of friends and when it was time to pick her up she was already asking to go back. Effie – the more outgoing of my two girls – was pretty much ready to book herself into kids’ club as soon as we got there, and was furious when I suggested one morning that she might want to give it a miss and hang out with me at the beach instead.

I mean, I can’t blame her really when you consider the kinds of activities she was doing…

They did windsurfing, sailing, kayaking, pool games, arts and crafts, bug hunts, tennis… the list is endless. The sessions were split into three parts, with the activities for the following day written on the board by the respective club the night before (the groups are split into age category, and then again into smaller groups depending on how many kids there are). This means children can dip in and out if they don’t want to do the entire morning or afternoon session, and parents will always know exactly where on the resort their kids are.

We quickly slipped into a relaxed routine of having a family breakfast together, before dropping the girls off at kids’ club for the morning. Si and I would then spend a few hours doing our own thing, before collecting them for lunch. We’d then spend the afternoon together as a family at the beach or pool (or both), before the girls had a “high tea” at 5.30pm in the restaurant. This was a meal available to all Mark Warner guests under the age of ten and meant they didn’t have to wait until 7.30pm for their evening meal (we eat early in the UK compared to families on the continent!). We’d then go back to the room for showers, and the girls would get into their pyjamas, before going off to “Movie Night” at their respective club in the evening.

This routine meant Si and I had loads of opportunities to spend time together as a couple (we spent more time alone together that week than we have done in eight years married!), and also just on our own. I didn’t realise how much I’d been craving this space to just unwind and spend some time not being needed by anyone, until I really started to properly relax on the second day after we arrived. My cup had been dangerously close to empty and I hadn’t even known.

The evening childcare offering is until 10.30pm, and Effie would often fall asleep while watching her film, before being tucked up into a cute little camp bed by the Mark Warner staff (the first time I saw all the little ones fast asleep in their mini beds my heart properly melted). The older ones will watch a film and play games – and the teenager club will often do games on the beach in the evening. One evening we picked Freya up early because she wanted to see what she was missing, but she asked to go back because it was more fun at kids’ club!

During the week I spoke to a few other holidaymakers who told me the childcare had been a huge part of the reason they’d booked with Mark Warner. One couple told me they’d been with another tour operator the previous year but the kids’ club didn’t have the range of activities and it all felt a bit less organised than the Mark Warner childcare. I also spoke to single parents who said the kids’ clubs gave them an opportunity to switch off in a way they couldn’t have done on a different type of holiday.

Activities

Another huge draw for Mark Warner guests is the wide range of activities on offer. You can be as active as you want, with sailing, paddleboarding, windsurfing, kayaking, scuba diving and cycling all on offer. Or, if you prefer, you can just lie on the beach or by the pool with a good book.

There are lots of opportunities to get lessons, or you can hire out the equipment on your own. Again, the bonus of the childcare offering is that you can do activities on your own, as a couple, or with the kids too. Si loves cycling so one morning we went together and on another morning he went alone. If we’d had been there another week then he’d probably have joined one of the organised bike tours too.

The Food

This is the first all-inclusive holiday we’ve been on as a family, and I wasn’t sure if the food aspect would work for us. I really enjoy cooking – especially on holiday – and I didn’t know how I’d feel about losing the independence of self-catering, and eating at particular times every day. This turned out to be a pointless worry, because the food was brilliant and I quickly relaxed into not having to think about supermarket trips and menu planning.

Three meals a day are included in the cost of the holiday – breakfast, lunch and dinner. All of these meals are buffet, help-yourself style, and are served in the main restaurant by the pool. At Perdepera, there’s also the option of eating at the beach bar, but only some of the things on the menu are included in the cost and if you want an evening meal there then you have to pay. We chose to do this for our anniversary meal – the first anniversary we’ve celebrated alone together, in a restaurant, in eight years!

At the main restaurant, there’s an offer of pasta, pizza, salads, cooked meats, fresh vegetables, fruit and puddings. And you get wine included with your lunch and evening meal too. I got into the habit of having my evening meal Italian style, over four courses, which I must say I’m very much here for and would happily eat like that every day of my life.

There’s no snack bar at the resort, so there’s no option to eat outside of the main meal times. The only person this really affected in our family was Effie, who’s a real snack enthusiast and would happily ditch her main meals in favour of hourly snacks throughout the day. You can buy crisps and ice-cream from the bar by the pool though, which is what we did.

The accommodation

We stayed in one of the resort’s older cottages, as I wanted to be in the same room as the children. This meant we had a family room, which consisted of a kitchenette area, a bathroom, two single beds downstairs, and a mezzanine level with a double bed upstairs. There was also an outside patio area with a table and chairs and a clothes airer.

(I’m still convinced the bed here had magical properties because I arrived on crutches, still in a lot of pain from a prolapsed disc in my lower back which I did at the start of summer, and I left able to kayak, swim, run and cycle with no crutches in sight!)

Final thoughts

This was a really special week for us, and it’s made us rethink how we do holidays in the future. The catered aspect of the holiday, the childcare, and all the activities on holiday were huge pluses that we’ve never really considered before, and we’d definitely do this type of holiday again. I’d love to return to Perdepera one day and spend a bit more time exploring the area. We went out of the resort on our bikes and ventured to a nearby beach, but I think if we went again we’d hire a car and try to see a bit more of the island.

The girls absolutely loved just playing in the pool and on the beach, and they were very happy to forego any sightseeing opportunities. And as all parents know, if the kids are happy then we’re happy.

For a week, I was completely content to relax at the resort, and there was so much to do things never got boring. The beach is stunningly beautiful – all white sand and crystal clear waters – and is up there with one of the most picturesque beaches I’ve ever been to (it rivals the ones I’ve visited in the past in the Caribbean and Thailand too). We had gorgeous weather for the most part – hot sunshine and blue skies with the odd thunder storm thrown in for good measure. Sardinia’s known for it’s “six month summer”, so it’s a great island to visit out of high season because the sea is warm enough to swim in from May to October.

The only thing I’d change about the holiday? I’d leave that blasted flying unicorn (Pegasus?) behind because it took FOREVER to blow up…!

Thank you Mark Warner for a fantastic week – we can’t recommend it enough and will definitely be back.

***

DISCLOSURE: Our flights and all-inclusive accommodation were provided in return for us creating content and sharing our experiences of the holiday. All footage, images, words and opinions remain my own.

The post REVIEW: Our Mark Warner Holiday to Perdepera, Sardina appeared first on Mother's Always Right.

One of the reasons I went out to Greece last year to film Naked Beach was because, as a mum, I feel really passionate about changing the body image culture my girls are growing up in.

From social media feeds full of digitally manipulated images, to TV shows only presenting one ideal body type, to advertising campaigns only featuring one idea of beauty, to diet companies selling the idea that health only has one “look”… there are so many different ways our kids are being sold an idea of what their body SHOULD look like.

I never want my girls to feel like they aren’t enough – or feel like they need to change their body in order to become a valued, worthwhile, appreciated human on this planet. And that’s why I got naked on TV and continue to shout about the subject every single day via my podcast Body Cons, on Instagram, this blog and sometimes on the radio, telly and at various events too.

What is body image anyway?

Body image is not a fluffy subject, just for girls to worry about. The Mental Health Foundation recently dedicated the entire Mental Health Awareness Week to the issue, releasing research showing one in eight adults has had suicidal thoughts because of how they feel about their body. Countless studies have shown body image has a very real effect on mental health, self-esteem, quality of life, how kids engage and interact at school, physical health, nutrition etc etc etc. How we feel about our body matters JUST AS MUCH to our overall health as what we put into it and how we move it. And right now, research shows many of us don’t feel too great.

But how do we fix it? It takes more than just a few blog posts about body image, or a body positive TV show like Naked Beach. It takes more than a few events to empower women or radio debates about the subject. It takes more than a campaign to ban diet ads and weight loss products on or near schools. We need to keep talking about this stuff, keep challenging the messages being thrown at us, keep working to remove some of these messages altogether and now – the bit I’m coming to – introduce regular discussions of the topic in schools.

Bringing Naked Beach into schools

If you haven’t seen it, Naked Beach was a TV show aimed at transforming the nation’s body image. The first part of the series aired in April and May this year, on channel 4 at 8pm. It was watched by 1.6 million people – and I’m still getting messages every single day from people who continue to stream it on All4.

It’s very much NOT Love Island, or Naked Attraction, despite what some media publications have likened it to (simply because of the title I guess). It was a family show, aimed to open discussions around bodies and body image, to show a diverse range of bodies on telly, and to ultimately help us all be a bit kinder to ourselves.

I was one of the eight body confident hosts on the show and I’m so pleased to say I’m now one of the team of people who’ll be working to continue to bring that body love message out into the world, hopefully delivering the Naked Beach educational toolkit into a school near you.

The Naked Beach educational toolkit

The Naked Beach toolkit has been devised by Naked Beach expert, campaigner, writer and speaker Natasha Devon MBE, who’s worked for the past decade in schools, talking to students about mental health and body image.

Natasha worked with the producers of Naked Beach, Barefaced TV, to create a series of educational resources based on the show, using clips following two of the contributor’s stories. They’ve created two lesson plans that can be downloaded by teachers to deliver in PSHE lessons themselves, or delivered by a team of trained, verified speakers from the Speakers Collective – a supportive network of quality assured public speakers.

By the end of the lesson, teenagers will understand how a lack of body confidence can affect other areas of life, they’ll have explored ideas about the conceptions of “normal” bodies they may have internalised from social media and pornography, and they’ll have learned some techniques to improve their own body image and confidence. The lesson also debunks the myth that feeling positive about your body can lead to unhealthy behaviours or “encourage obesity”. The knock-on effect will be to reduce body-image based bullying and give teens tools to use social media in a way that enhances their own body image and self-esteem.

It’s a really special legacy of the show and one I know many teenagers will benefit from.

If you’d like more information about the lessons or to book me to deliver the class in your school, then you can email me at mollyjforbes@gmail.com

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If you have a body, you have a body image. Some of us feel good in our skin, some of us feel bad, but one thing is for certain: we can all be affected by body insecurities.

Season 2 of Body Cons delves deeper into this subject and I’m so excited to share some of the really moving conversations we had with our diverse lineup of incredible guests.

The great thing about this topic is that it encompasses so many different areas. From mental health to social justice, parenting to feminism, nutrition to exercise – the topic of body image is one that intersects with such a wide range of ideas that it never gets boring.

Season 2 kicked off last week with anti-diet Intuitive Movement queen and Instagram favourite Tally Rye, where we discussed a different approach to fitness and exercise. It was a really eye-opening, fun and interesting conversation and everyone needs a bit of Tally in their life.

Today we shared episode 2 of the season where we discussed body image and boys because, contrary to much popular opinion, boys can get body insecurities too.

Our guests on this episode were my Naked Beach pals Ben Whit and Dan Richards, who come from traditionally masculine industries (construction and the army) and who are battling to change the idea around what it means to be “a man”.

We talked toxic masculinity, mental health, the importance of talking – and why it’s never a good idea to compare yourself to others. I feel like this is a must-listen if you’re a parent to boys (but equally, whether you have a brother, a husband, a boyfriend, an uncle, a dad, it’s all very relevant).

Body Cons is a huge investment in time, energy and money, but it’s a worthwhile one because it’s a really special podcast. I know you’re meant to say that about your own work but I really believe it to be true.

When I first met up with my podwife Lottie Storey last September to discuss the idea we had no idea if it would work. It turned into a massive project, taking months to develop, research and get off the ground. But we kept going because we believed it needed to exist.

We travel to each of our guests, so we can have really open and honest chats with them in a place where they feel comfortable to share. We’ve had chats in bedrooms, in kitchens, in living rooms, in offices – all over the country. And now we’re getting emails from listeners all over the world (hi Boston and Sydney!) showing that body image isn’t a subject of preoccupation confined to the UK.

Season 2 is a bigger offering, comprising of 15 episodes with many amazing guests, instead of the ten we had in season 1. We’re also planning some online resources, workshops and hopefully another live podcast event so if you’re interested in that head over to our website and sign up to the mailing list to be the first in the know.

In the meantime, happy listening. I know I’m biased but it really is a great podcast!

(If you’re interested in being involved in the podcast in some way or you’d like to share some ideas for future episodes you can get in touch with us at bodyconspodcast@gmail.com)

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There’s this idea that we have to stick to rules around fashion. If you’re over a certain age you can’t wear a short skirt (don’t be a “mutton dressed as lamb!”), if you’re over a certain size you can’t show too much shape (“she’s brave showing her tummy!”), if you’re a mum you should wear a “mum uniform” etc. Well I say balls to that.

One of the things I get asked sometimes on Instagram and at events is how to have “the guts” to wear exactly what I want. For some this might seem like a really simple thing – you walk into a shop, buy the outfit, and walk out again. But for others, the whole issue of clothes is one fraught with anxiety. What will people think if you wear something a bit more “out there” than the usual outfit? How will people judge you if you dare to bare more in the summer but you’re not a size 10? What if the shop doesn’t even stock your size?

Shopping for clothes can be stressful and disheartening and do terrible things for the way we feel about our body. I get it.

Get rid of the clothes that don’t fit

We often keep stuff in our wardrobe that no longer fits, thinking that having these once-beloved items of clothing will “motivate” us into “getting back into shape”. But the thing is, you’re already in shape, it’s just a different shape. We’re not meant to stay the same shape forever, and that’s totally normal and totally OK.

Keeping an old pair of jeans is pointless if they no longer fit because they’ll act as a constant reminder your shape has changed. And it’s very likely that even when they did fit you still had body hang-ups anyway.

So clear out your wardrobe with the old clothes (give to charity, or just store under your bed or in the loft if you can’t bear to lose them forever) and make room for some new ones. This isn’t to say you have to necessarily go on a fast-fashion spree – if you’re looking for ethical fashion tips then this post at Oh Wild is a good one to read.

Everyone is entitled to wear colour

I remember reading an article in a magazine once telling me that black is a flattering, “slimming” colour that never goes out of fashion. Some people love wearing black and that’s cool. But I am not one of those people.

The thing is, when I wasn’t feeling too great in my body I definitely veered towards darker outfits, thinking they’d help me blend into the background a bit more. I hoped they’d disguise my lumpy post-baby tummy and wobbly bum. So I wore black to be invisible, not because I found it an empowering shade that made me feel great.

I’m drawn to colour more now, and I truly believe that every person has the right to put whatever the hell they want on their body – regardless of size. You don’t have to stick to black if you’re in a bigger body. Everyone is allowed to be seen (if you want to be).

I know fashion isn’t truly inclusive (although there are brands out there starting to wake up to the need for more inclusive sizing which is great – I love the new Sofie Hagen range at Plus Equals) but if you’re able to find colourful clothes in your size and you want to wear them then you have just as much right as any other human on the planet to wear the damn colour.

I’m in a straight size body (generally a size 12 depending which shop I’m buying from) but I still believed my body wasn’t “right” for the bright clothes. Or that some clothes were too trendy or young or “out there” for me. I now know this simply isn’t the case. I choose not to follow those rules.

Give up the idea of “flattering”

Often, when we say something is “flattering” what we’re actually saying is something makes us look slim. This is inherently fatphobic, both to ourselves and anyone in a bigger body. WHY should we have to wear clothes that make us look slim? If we believe we should wear clothes that make us look slim then we’re saying we buy into the narrow beauty standard that says slim = better / more worthy / more beautiful and we know that’s JUST NOT TRUE.

If you want to wear loose clothes because they’re comfy then wear the loose clothes. Some days I just want to exist in joggers and an oversized jumper too. But equally, if I’m in the mood to wear something tighter, or more revealing – regardless of the parts of my body it hugs – I’ll wear it. There’s huge liberation to be gained from giving up those supposed “rules”. No one says you have to follow them – it’s YOUR CHOICE.

Skin is allowed to be seen

I used to think that once you got past the age of 30 you should automatically switch to a new, more “modest” wardrobe. In my early 20s I harboured this idea that once I reached a certain age I wouldn’t be able to show skin. And when I became a mum of two at the age of 31 I gravitated toward this idea, choosing midi skirts or long skirts – always avoiding showing a bit of leg (and NO WAY would I dare show any belly), giving up the bikinis.

But after my relationship to my body changed, and I started to love my body again – for ALL that it is – I realised that these rules, just like all the rest, are arbitrary. I hold no religious beliefs which prevent me from showing my skin. I don’t see skin as offensive. I think the sight of others enjoying wearing what they want regardless of their body shape is joyful, so why couldn’t I apply that rule to myself? So I did. And the world didn’t end. Turns out it’s just like anything else – once you do it once it gets a whole lot less scary.

How do the clothes actually feel?

I used to have a whole routine when I went into a shop changing room. I’d suck in my tummy, pull on the outfit and hope for the best. Before it was even over my head or over my bum I’d be checking to see what it looked like. If it was a smaller size then I’d contort my body into whatever shape I could to make it fit better. And only then, once I’d checked it out from all angles, would I actually stop to FEEL what it felt like on my skin.

Sometimes I’d even buy the thing, even if it wasn’t comfortable, because I thought it looked good. And then I’d squeeze myself into it, holding my tummy in all day, sitting at certain angles, feeling uncomfortable and then vowing to go on a diet the following day so the thing fit me. I thought I was meant to fit the clothes – but the opposite is true. WE wear the clothes, they don’t wear us.

So now, when I’m trying something new on, I like to close my eyes and feel what it’s like on my body before I even look in the mirror. If it pulls in an uncomfortable way, then it’s a no. That’s not to say I don’t care what the clothes look like, but how they feel is also really important.

Ultimately I guess we need to remember that we’re all allowed to wear what we want. What we wear and how we look is not a measure of our worth as humans on this planet. And if you want to wear the short skirt, colourful prints or bodycon dress then you are ALLOWED to wear the short skirt, colourful prints or bodycon dress.

Your body, your rules.

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I try really hard to make my home a space free from diet chat and negative body talk. It wasn’t always this way, but the moment my (then) 5 year old asked why I was weighing spinach was a wake-up call.

Although I’d never been to a slimming or weight loss club, I’d spent many years of my adult life dabbling in diets – yo-yoing on and off the restriction bandwagon telling myself I was on a “health kick”, when it was actually about losing weight and changing my shape, nothing to do with my health at all. But that moment with the spinach brought everything into focus and I realised I had no rational response ready for my daughter. And so began the process of self-acceptance and body image education.

That was a few years ago now, and since then I’ve been on national telly in nothing but body-paint, hosted various events around body confidence, launched a hit podcast on body image, made a few popular videos on YouTube on the subject, and used my Instagram daily to spread messages of love and body acceptance. I hate to use such a cliche, but it’s been a “journey”.

During the past couple of years, when I’ve been immersed in interviewing people on this subject, reading research around it, hosting events and listening to other peoples’ experiences, one thing has really struck home: the UK’s body image is at a critical low, with children as young as three years old suffering for not feeling good enough in their skin.

So when I realised that ads for slimming services and weight loss products could be advertised right under their nose, on their school railings or even on posters on the walls of their various kids’ clubs, I felt like something needed to be done. We can do all the positive work we like in schools and avoid all the diet chat at home, but if we’re doing nothing to tackle some of the negative messages out there too then I feel like it’s one step forwards and three steps back.

There’s a wealth of research to show diets can lead to disordered eating – and even eating disorders in some cases. But even getting away from the research on diets themselves, it’s the underlying message of diet culture (often disguised as a “lifestyle choice”) that is so dangerous.

Schools, sports clubs and places of leisure for children and young people should all be safe spaces for under 18s, where they are not at risk of being body shamed, exposed to harmful messaging around dieting and diet culture, or encouraged – whether inadvertently or not – to focus on ideas around restricting food and aspiring to a particular type of body.

These ideas are at odds with the core message being promoted by slimming clubs and weight loss products – that in order to live a happy and fulfilled life, to be a worthwhile member of society and to inspire others, you must be thin or have a body that meets the narrow beauty ideals we regularly see in the media.

We have tight regulations around the way junk food is advertised, with a 100m restriction on the placement of billboards for these products near schools. So why don’t we have the same for slimming services and weight loss products, when there’s so much evidence pointing to how damaging they can be to both our physical and mental health?

To be clear, this campaign is not about banning diet clubs or weight loss products from existing altogether. I’ll never advocate for them, simply because I couldn’t after all the research I’ve read and people I’ve interviewed, but I’ll never judge anyone for wanting to go to a slimming club either – your body, your choice. But I’d argue that in an internet world, with Google, there’s no justification for putting banners and posters and leaflets around about these services. Schools and kids’ clubs are not the place to recruit new members.

And on a final note, this campaign is also not about banning kids from learning about nutrition, intuitive eating and the joy of moving their body in exercise. But there’s a big difference between this and children learning about “syns” and calorie counting and restriction and aspirational body types.

As an aside, the whole health issue is a completely different topic (but can be summarised as: you can never know much about a person’s health just from their size – despite a lot of misinformation around; if you’re concerned about health you need to include mental health in that bracket too, and all the evidence shows that stigmatising people and shaming them into “getting healthy” can have serious mental health consequences; we need to stop placing so much moral value on health because it’s massively ableist – what if someone has an impairment or is differently abled, does that mean they’re of less value than anyone else? It’s about respect – and everyone deserves respect regardless of their physical health status).

Anyway, if you feel the same I’d love you to watch this campaign video and then join the hundreds of people getting behind the #FreeFromDiets movement. We’ve had over 550 signatures in 24 hours and it’s gaining momentum every minute.

Our children deserve to know they are more than just their bodies. Support the campaign and get involved here.

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